Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“As much as I hated their intervention, deep down I realized I needed their protection – from myself as much as anyone.”

I didn’t know what to expect when I started reading this, but it soon became clear just how much it would stay with me! Raised by Committee is an eye-opening account of how one girl moves on from a traumatic childhood of abuse, and how the Children’s Committee takes her under their wing until her eighteenth birthday. And what’s more is that this book is based on the author’s own life. I’m so happy to be sharing my review for this powerful read by Carollyne Haynes!

Paperback/eBook

About the book

Set in Devon, England, in the 1960’s, Raised by Committee tells the story of an abandoned and abused young girl’s journey as she struggles to make sense of her past. At age twelve, Gail is made a “ward of the courts, as being in need of moral protection.” She is placed under the care of the ubiquitous Children’s Committee and sent to live in a children’s home.

Set against a backdrop of Beatlemania and the sexual revolution, Raised by Committee chronicles Gail’s roller coaster emotional ride as she rails against the restrictions put on her life and struggles to fill the void left by her parents. As much as she resents the interference of the Children’s Committee, deep down she realizes that she needs their protection -from herself as much as anyone.

Gail has a wild streak in her fueled by hurt and anger, and a searing anguish which threatens to consume her. From runaway, to thief, to top student, Gail’s life runs the gamut from despair to hope. Just when she thinks everything is fine, it blows up in her face again and again.

The beginning

I was taken aback by just how powerful the first chapter in this book was! I couldn’t quite believe it. I felt distraught and angry as we’re introduced to Gail’s childhood, the sick acts of her father, her mother’s ignorance. How traumatic these years were for a girl of such a young age. It was hard to read, but at the same time, the author’s writing sucked me in and left me so protective of Gail. Such a traumatic time in her life gave me so many emotions that it brought tears to my eyes. Her experiences were horrific. No one deserves to go through any of this at any time in their lives, never mind when they’re a child. The detail the author gives really brings you into a moment, makes you think about life in a whole new way, and this was all in a single chapter. I was drawn into how the author writes thoughts and feelings about her experiences growing up; they’re so rich and full of detail. Please be aware there are mentions of sexual abuse involving a child which some people may find distressing.

“I just wanted a mother and father who loved me and took care of me. Not parents who tried to fit me in between band gigs or boyfriends or car repairs.”

Knowing this book was based on the author’s own personal experience growing up made this so much more impactful. She must be commended for bringing all of these experiences into the public eye, to teach and to raise awareness. I felt a sense of relief that there was finally police involvement and that she was free from her abuse and abandonment after so long, but life in a children’s home would be so different; a difficult transition. I found it so easy to imagine Willowrey Children’s Home, the place Gail was moved to in order to continue to attend a grammar school. This space from her parents makes her think more deeply about how much she’d craved her mother’s approval. How much she wanted to feel loved and cared for by her own mother, something she never got. But as she experiences this kindness in the children’s home, it warmed my heart (and again, made me tear up.) Everything the author writes felt moving and so brave. I was so thankful that she could finally tell her story in the form of this book.

The middle

It really felt as though I was living life alongside Gail. At times she finds life at the children’s home tough, but at other times, it’s home. She was growing up into a young woman, going through that rebellious stage, wanting to break out, run away, meet boys. I felt like all this was due to so many conflicting feelings battling inside her. She hates her parents one moment, and longs to see them the next. The author balances all this so well, the contrast made for such insightful and memorable reading. Gail was finding herself on her own terms, with people at her children’s home doing the job her parents should have done and should still be doing to guide her in the right direction. I wanted to wrap Gail in cotton wool, to protect her the way she should have been protected her whole life. The author has done a great job in making readers care so much, bringing emotion after emotion to the surface. It really felt like something rather special.

“My parents’ lives had become like a migraine to me: the space in the middle was a dark blur and I could only see the fuzzy bits around the edges.”

The Children’s Committee, along with the staff/Nurses at Willowrey set so many rules for Gail that she felt suffocated. Getting permission to do anything felt draining for her. After a bad spell of shoplifting (and thankfully, Gail learning her lesson) I was thrilled to see Gail flourish. Granted, things weren’t perfect, but they would be. There was so much I felt like telling Gail; I wanted to jump into the pages and console her when she needed it, to tell her everything would be okay in the end. Thanks to all the information the author gives and the way Gail is portrayed throughout the book, it felt so easy to become attached to her. It felt like I really knew her as a person. There were a few things that I couldn’t work out though. Like why on earth Gail would want to continue seeing her father after what he’d done. But I suppose deep down, she loved a different version of her dad, not the drunken one who abused her. I suppose I couldn’t possibly question a victim of abuse unless I’d gone through it myself.

The end

We go through so much of Gail’s life; her changing relationships with boys, her friends and her family, her summer job, thoughts of her future and what it might entail. The bittersweet moment she transitions from Willowrey into lodgings with her friend to be closer to college. All of it was such a perfect exploration of Gail as a person. I spent some time thinking about the scared, uncertain young girl at the start of the book, and just how Gail was growing into the young woman we see at this stage. There were so many elements of this that were heartbreaking yet uplifting in equal measure. Despite her growth, there’s trouble in paradise once more, resulting in the need to find somewhere else to live. It seemed like life was out to get her, yet she perseveres. She carries on. And this was one of the huge parts of her that I absolutely loved. I couldn’t wait to see how this ended, and hopefully she would feel settled and find her place in life.

“I can see it in their eyes when they look at me. I guess once you break a vase you can always see the crack, no matter how carefully you glue it back together again. I’ll always have that crack as far as they’re concerned.”

We touch on Gail’s depression as nothing in her life seems to be going her way, but the ending isn’t all gloom. In fact, days before her eighteenth birthday, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. As I’d followed her over the years in this book, being released from the committee’s care after so long was quite a bittersweet moment. I had happy tears swimming in my eyes threatening to fall, and the short epilogue at the end was great to see a snapshot of the author’s future post care. It was an ending filled with hope and new possibilities, and the book left me thinking so hard about life and everything I’m thankful for. So many people worked in Gail’s best interests, even though it was hard for her to deal with at times. But I think this story is a beacon of light for those needing a lifeline. If you’re interested in books based on the life of authors, or like reading memoirs or autobiographies, I urge you to give this a try. A brilliant read!

Overall thoughts

Raised by Committee is a raw and vulnerable story of survival after abuse and abandonment. I was moved to tears at times by how horrific actions and a childhood spent in care shaped one young girl’s future. It was a hard read as we witness a girl craving the love and care of her parents, a girl who tries to live a normal life like all her peers, someone who is frustrated at being under the watchful eye of the committee. Despite all this, it’s also a book filled with hope and promise, about an incredible journey of growth and acceptance after years of trauma. Moving, inspiring and gripping until the end. Hugely recommend!

Raised by Committee is out right now! You can grab your own copy on Amazon. Make sure you’re following the author on X (Twitter) and for more updates, or alternatively, you can browse her website at www.carollynehaynes.com. You can read my interview with Carollyne here!

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